digressions

when i grow up i want to be...

2010-07-22T13:08:00.002-05:00

My favorite Metra train conductor is a nice older gentleman with white hair and smiley eyes. As he strolled through the car today he was quietly muttering, "Chugga-Chugga-Chugga-Chugga...

I didn't get to hear the payoff, "Choo!Choo!" Not even sure if he said it. But it made me smile. I think he loves his job.

things people say too loudly on their cells while on the train

2010-07-16T12:36:00.003-05:00

I've recently begun commuting to work on the Metra train. I really like not sitting in traffic for almost 4 hours a day. I'm going to LOVE not driving in the snow. It's great for people watching and getting some down time. (Even though I've mostly been editing scripts).

My only compliant is that on a daily basis, someone sitting near me, has a very loud conversation on their phone. It's as if they think no one can hear them. I've decided to post them here for your enjoyment...or not.

(20-something business casual asian male in the seat next to mine)
"Yeah, I don’t know why I didn’t think to Google this before, but a decision was made in Robert’s murder trial."
"I can't believe no one told me."
"Do you think Mom knows?"
"Sure they are going to appeal. I just can't believe he is in this situation."
"I’m not blaming you. I called because I needed to talk! Not because I’m blaming you."

(Heavy set 50-something lady. salt and pepper curly hair. in floral dress. hugged her bag like it was about to leap off her lap and run away)

"You said yoga. Right 7:30 yoga…. But you chose yoga!"

"She started drinking black tea and she said she didn’t have any of those problems."

"When she had coffee it came back just as horrible as it was."

“Oh with the colonoscopy and everything?” Ha ha ha well they twilight you .

"Well are you sure you don’t want to go to the 7:30 yoga?"

"Well I’ve never taken a class on a Wed nite."

haiku review(s)

2010-04-16T13:21:00.004-05:00

Diary of A Wimpy Kid

stick figures, alive

greg heffley is everykid

avoid the cheese touch

Date Night

props for comic chops

without carell/fey, a flop

fun flick nonetheless

like spun sugar

2010-04-13T12:52:00.003-05:00

cotton candy images fill my morning run

magnolia trees match the pink sunrise

i love spring

oh boy

2010-03-25T22:12:00.003-05:00

It was a liiiitle too quiet upstairs while the boy was getting ready for bed. I went up picturing toothpaste finger-paint art on the walls, giant dixie cup constructions, batman action figures disappearing down the toilet, etc.

What I found was J standing at the bathroom mirror, hairbrush in hand, smoothing his hair in to a dapper little coiffure, sort of slicked off to the side.

"Whatcha doin J?" I asked.

"My hair, " he replied.

"Why?" I inquried.

"For [NAMED A GIRL IN HIS CLASS], I want her to like my style."

I just backed slowly out of the room.

wow.

haiku review

2010-03-11T22:39:00.005-06:00

Alice In Wonderland

rabbithole redeux

depp, rickman, bonham-carter

gorgeous burton film

2010-02-06T15:54:00.005-06:00

J asked me to draw Optimus Prime (in his truck form).

I drew what I thought was a pretty decent Autobot.

His response: "No. [heavy sigh] Here, let me do it."
It was actually a little condescending.

Here's J's superior drawing.

And just because...here's Batman and Robin.

2009 movies

2010-01-03T14:05:00.004-06:00

I've never been a fan of the "How many stars do you give it?" or "Thumbs up/Thumbs down" systems of movie review.

My favorite 2009 movies are on the top of the list below, and my liking decreases as you move down. I shuffled these around a lot, and depending on how I'm feeling on a given day, movies can shift up or down a few spots. I'm fickle.

Up
Star Trek
The Hangover
Inglourious Basterds
Up in the Air
Funny People
Sherlock Holmes
The Time Traveler’s Wife
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
Taken
Monsters Vs. Aliens
The Princess and the Frog
Terminator Salvation
District 9
Inkheart
Twilight Saga: New Moon
Night at the Museum 2
I Love You Man
X Men Origins: Wolverine
Twilight
Angels and Demons
Race to Witch Mountain
The Proposal
Planet 51
Crank 2
The Watchmen
He’s Just Not That Into You
Couple’s Retreat
Shorts
Aliens in the Attic
Astro Boy
G Force
Alvin and the Chipmunks the Squeakquel
Bride Wars
*Transformers Revenge of the Fallen
*Knowing

*The movie Knowing was very difficult for me. I don't think it was a bad movie, but it made me so upset and miserable and quite frankly manipulated that I wish I had never seen it. That's why it ranks where it does. Transformers just made me want those 2 hours of my life back, because I think it could have been so much better. But it seems they said let's add 2 pointless and obnoxious bots and 50 bad jokes at the expense of actual character development and story line... the shiny special effects will cover all that up.

Guest Blogger E would like to submit her list as well. She would also like to add that attending the double feature of Toy Story and Toy Story 2 was a cinematic highlight for her. I agree wholeheartedly! We are all really looking forward to Toy Story 3 in June.

So here's E's list:

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs
Shorts
Twilight
Inkheart
Night at the Museum 2
Coraline
Up
Alvin and the Chipmunks the Squeakquel
Aliens in Attic
Race to Witch Mountain
A Christmas Carol
Frog Prince
Planet 51
The Fantastic Mr. Fox
Monsters vs. Aliens
Paul Blart Mall Cop
Astro Boy.

K had a hard time ranking hers- because she liked them all so much, so she just wanted to say that she really liked Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, Aliens in the Attic and Alvin and the Chipmunks the Squeakquel a lot.

J wanted to say that his favorite this year was Cloudy With a Chance.

Happy New Year everyone. And here's to a great cinematic 2010.

but this made it feel a little better

2009-10-02T13:38:00.004-05:00

okay one thing made me smile today.

i tried

2009-10-02T13:28:00.004-05:00

i really tried not to hate fall this year.
i tried to pick pretty leaves each day that i ran in the brisk (albeit) dark mornings.
i tried to push sad and negative thoughts out of my mind and my heart when the cold gloominess started having its way with me.

but i can't get warm.
i'm wet from the rain.
i am miserable from a cold i caught.
i'm going to be less than my best for the 5K for which I've trained so hard.
i'm sad.

i tried, but i failed.

the hof

2009-08-25T00:05:00.005-05:00

Conversation with K before our trip:

K: Can we stop at an IHOP during the car trip?

Me: Ooh I love IHOP. Chocolate chip pancakes...we'll see.

K: What does IHOP stand for anyway?

Me: International House of Pancakes

K: Well that's better than IHOF!

Me: What's IHOF?

K: International House of FAILURE!

Me: (laughs hysterically)

K: Or if you were really mad at someone and wanted to fight, you could say "Wanna go to IHOP??? International House of PAIN!!!"

Me: K you are funny.

can i hitch a ride to the circus?

2009-08-20T00:47:00.010-05:00

E slept through the first few hours of our loooong car trip. When she woke up she was concerned that she had "missed something."

I informed her that aside from the circus that we passed and the hitchhiker that we picked up, she didn't miss a thing. I got a "Yeah right Mom!"

What? I amuse myself (if no one else).

A little while later, she and K started cracking up hysterically and pointing out the window. In a big field, stood a huge striped circus tent! Seriously it looked like something out of a cartoon. What are the odds? So we joked that all we needed to see next was a hitchhiker.

I kid you not, as we pulled out of a rest stop, a gentleman was in fact trying to hitch a ride from passing cars. Well after the renewed laughter died down, a new travel game was born.

So for the rest of the trip we would name odd things to see if they would show up. The best one that actually did was a chair on top of a car (believe it or not).

So there, next time "cows" or "count the out of state plates" gets old, try "Random Item Travel Bingo."

no fair!

2009-07-25T11:02:00.003-05:00

J: Mommy, who was in your tummy first?

Me: It was E then K then you.

J: No fair!!! Why do they always get to go first?

not so current events

2009-03-04T13:10:00.006-06:00

The other day over at Ken Jenning's blog he asked readers to recall their first recollected news event.

I went to a wiki page that listed sigfificant events from the year 1975 because I thought I might remember stuff when I was four years old.

Turns out... not so much.

There is a reel to reel tape recording of me talking about "Mister Mitchell and Mister Dean" from Watergate fame. But I do not remember the conversation or what I was talking about. I guess everyone thought it was cute to have me repeat names from the news.

Then I went to 1976 and these I actually remember:

July 4 - United States Bicentennial: From coast to coast, the United States celebrates the 200th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.

July 18 - Nadia Comaneci earns the first of 7 perfect scores of 10 at the 1976 Summer Olympics.

November 2 - U.S. presidential election, 1976: Jimmy Carter defeats incumbent Gerald Ford, becoming the first candidate from the Deep South to win since the Civil War.

1977

January 23 - Roots begins its phenomenally successful run on ABC.

May 25 - Star Wars opens in cinemas and subsequently becomes the then-highest grossing film of all time.

July 13 - The New York City blackout of 1977 lasts for 25 hours, resulting in looting and other disorder.

I wonder what E, K, and J will remember.

haiku review

2009-01-30T09:30:00.004-06:00

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

a life in reverse
so similar, life's extremes
a beautiful film

(belated) haiku daughter

2009-01-12T08:01:00.003-06:00

artistic and fun
sharp wit with a tender heart
happy eight-year old

Happy Birthday K!

it's not easy being bale

2009-01-06T00:13:00.001-06:00

Two of my favorites.

This made me smile today.

The pez dispenser just killed me.

haiku reviews

2009-01-03T21:11:00.003-06:00

Bedtime Stories

cute, clever, and fun
kid-friendly sandler, who knew?
set up for sequel

2008 movies

2008-12-26T09:06:00.009-06:00

It was a pretty good year for movies. I saw 30 in the theaters and 5 on DVD. One of my favorite new things about 2008 was Red Box. Movies for a buck? Thank you very much! A special thanks to Laura from the LO-Down for hanging out with the kids while we saw most of these, and going with me to see some too!

So here's my ranking.
Top of the list = Liked a lot!
Bottom of the list = Not so much!

Iron Man
The Dark Knight
Slumdog Millionaire
Kung Fu Panda
Tropic Thunder
WALL-E
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Wanted
The Bank Job
21
Quantum of Solace
The Incredible Hulk
Hancock
Nim’s Island
Yes Man
You Don’t Mess with the Zohan
Chronicles of Narnia:Prince Caspian
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Vantage Point
Igor
Madagascar:Escape to Africa
Step Brothers
Baby Mama
Hellboy II: The Golden Army
The Longshots
Horton Hears a Who
Definitely, Maybe
Jumper
Mamma Mia
Journey to the Center of the Earth
Bolt
Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything
High School Musical 3:Senior Year
What Happens in Vegas
Space Chimps

I have two guest bloggers with me today during the year end movie review: E & K ranked their lists as well.

E's LIst

Kung Fu Panda
WALL-E
Madagascar:Escape 2 Africa
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Igor
Nim's Island
Bolt
Tale of Desperaux
Journey to the Center of the Earth
Long Shots
High School Musical 3
Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
Space Chimps
Horton Hears a Who
Fly Me to the Moon

K's List

Kung Fu Panda
Nim's Island
Madagascar:Escape 2 Africa
Bolt
Tale of Desperaux
Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
High School Musical 3
WALL-E
Horton Hears a Who
Fly Me to the Moon
Space Chimps

Well there you go. Happy New Year everyone!

haiku review

2008-12-11T11:44:00.004-06:00

Slumdog Millionaire

tragic images
a life told from the "hot seat"
phone a friend and see

out of the blue news of the day

2008-11-26T23:11:00.003-06:00

The first set of programs I wrote and produced are going to be translated into Japanese.

Now I can wear this:

cause for concern?

2008-11-19T12:21:00.003-06:00

K became impatient for us to get up this morning and used a bent paperclip to break into our locked room.
It is becoming apparent that she may possess many dark gifts.

{{{{{shudder}}}}}

reader poll

2008-11-11T15:31:00.003-06:00

The Secret Service code names for the Obamas were revealed today.

Renegade
Renaissance
Radiance
&
Rosebud

Code names are fun.

And it seems like they give families names that start with the same letter.

I am dubbing my family:

Fletch
Filmmaker
Faith
Freedom
&
Firecracker

So, dear readers, I'm calling you out!
Stop lurking and comment!
What would your Secret Service Code name be?

pink vs. blue

2008-11-09T01:42:00.005-06:00

Long ago when E was 3-ish, she and I were playing "Rock, Paper, Scissors."

Instead of putting out her index and middle fingers to give the international symbol for "scissors" she only used her index finger.
I stared at the didget and asked, "What's that?"
She contemplated the finger for a beat, and then replied, "A tulip stem!"

J had the same misfire the other day, and I asked what his lone finger represented.

He quickly replied, "A knife!"

We never established what beat what in terms of either gesture, but I thought it was quite telling from a nature vs. nurture standpoint.

if i were a car...

2008-11-08T16:35:00.001-06:00

33.5 miles per gallon

Created by The Car Connection

happy birthday mom

2008-11-07T13:45:00.002-06:00

Thanks for all you do and are.

I love you,
Your green and yellow baby :)

don't forget to exercise today!

2008-11-04T06:24:00.004-06:00

happy halloween

2008-10-31T09:27:00.002-05:00

a spooky, scary, slimy story

2008-10-16T10:17:00.002-05:00

It was a dark an chewy night. The wind was paying through the trees, and off in the distance, the wolves were howling at the hippy. I wanted to get home as fast as my ventilation shafts could carry me. My tummy was pounding, and my breath was coming in red polka-dotted gasps. Suddenly, I felt the waffle-ironish hand of a Jack-o-lantern touch my neck, and I screamed quickly. The monster lifted me off the tricornered hat and threw me onto the blue ground. Then, with his pimply hands, he tried to cartwheel the soccer out of me. I screamed so loudly, I woke up every beer in the forest. My scream awakened me too. I was having a crinkle-y nightmare.

Gotta love Halloween Mad-Libs! Can you guess which words were fill-in-the-blank?
Can you guess the words chosen by E, K, and J?

shelf-esteem

2008-10-06T16:44:00.006-05:00

Some of my more astute readers may have noticed a new feature on my sidebar. Over there --> on the right. Scroll down a bit...there you go.

It is a random list of some of the books I own. Library Thing is the latest site where I've spent time that would probalby be better spent elsewhere. I don't have every book I own listed there (That would take WAY too much time) but it's a fun thing to add to when I need a break from whatever writers block or problem I'm currently stuggling with.

And I've decided to dedicate a post to it because I've been told people are getting tired of seeing "sickly leaves" everytime they click over here.

So there you go! Happy browsing.

autumn attitude

2008-09-22T08:18:00.006-05:00

It's no secret how I feel about Fall.

I always feel like this:

"I want to go south, where there is no autumn, where the cold doesn't crouch over one like a snow-leopard waiting to pounce." - D. H. Lawrence

"Now it is autumn and the falling fruit And the long journey towards oblivion Have you built your ship of death,O have you?" - D. H. Lawrence

Who knew good 'ol D. H. and I were such kindred spirits?

I am going to make an effort though, this year, to feel like this:

“Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree."
-Emily Bronte

"Autumn is a second spring when every leaf's a flower."
- Albert Camus

Really, I'm going to try.

i'm busy. here, take a quiz.

2008-09-18T21:37:00.001-05:00

32 seconds

haiku review

2008-09-11T08:16:00.004-05:00

hollywood gets spoofed
downey jr. steals the flick
funny, but so wrong

haiku son

2008-09-07T06:42:00.005-05:00

boundless energy
wild sweet cuddly monkey
fun and fast four years

bts

2008-08-28T12:43:00.003-05:00

Quotes from the first day of school:

E: Ms L runs a tight ship, but she's very nice about it.

K. My teacher is awesome, but I have to sit with two boys.
(Whatssa matter K, 7-yr-olds not dreamy like Miiiiiicheal?)

J: Mrs. P is in charge of the doors.

J did awesome. He found his name on his locker. He waved and said, "Bye, Mom." Then he shouted, "One more kiss!" gave me one, and went happily back to class. I waited by the phone for a call to ask me to retrieve him, but that call never came. Afterwards, he was happy and playing around with a little pal as we waited for the girls.

Here's to a good year.

which one is boy-crazy?

2008-08-26T06:22:00.007-05:00

Conversation during closing ceremony highlights of Michael Phelps:

K: Ooooh! Micheal Phelps!

E: K!

K: Michael Phelps is so dreamy.

K: Gross!

K: Micheal Phelps is so cute.

E: Ew! Knock it off!

K: If Michael Phelps and I get married and have kids I'm going to name them, Micheal, Micheal Jr., Micheal Jr., Jr., and Michael Jr., Jr., Jr.

Me: What if you have a girl?

K: Michaelina.

E: Ugh! Oh my gosh!!!!

sad

2008-08-20T14:07:00.003-05:00

haiku daughter

2008-08-14T17:48:00.002-05:00

so articulate
kind soul, wise beyond your years
happiest ten years

haiku reviews

2008-08-06T05:57:00.001-05:00

Hancock

hero's tortured soul
formula turned on its ear
smith's charisma works

Kit Kittridge: An American Girl

depression era
hobos exonerated
spunky role model

The Dark Knight

intense, exhausting
screen stealing ledger: genius
cartoony "bat voice"

holy storm bat man

2008-08-05T08:17:00.004-05:00

We had a bit of a storm last night. This storm caused the children and me (T is out of town) to take shelter in the downstairs bathroom in the pitch dark with only the illumination from my cell phone as our occasional light source.

I did a good job of being as calm and nonchalant as possible. J was more squirrel-y than scared. E is petrified of storms in the first place, so she was really nervous. K thought the whole thing was kind of cool. We were singing songs and telling silly stories to distract ourselves from the sirens and thunder.

All was fine, until there was a lull in conversation and, from the corner of the dark bathroom, came this total horror movie whisper,

"Jeeesus, Jeeeesus, Jeeeesus"

It was, quite frankly, scarier than the storm.
It was E doing some sort of prayer chant.
I was like, "Um, E, are you okay?"
"Yes," she replied, "Just praying. It makes me feel better."

"Praying is good if it makes you feel better, but can you do it in your mind? Because it sounds a little scary."

She totally laughed and was like,
"Oh yeah, I could see how that would be scary."

Then i told a story about a bus load of bizarre animals arriving in downtown Care-a-Lot to move into the Care Bear's new subdivision.

T called to tell us everything was clear just as the lights came back on.

Note to self:
Pack an emergency kit in that bathroom with flashlights, granola bars, bottles of water, and, i guess, a bible?

haiku reviews (one word titles that start with "w" edition)

2008-07-07T16:54:00.006-05:00

Wanted

Jolie commands screen
as bullets defy physics
hey! Cermak Plaza!

Walle

Pixar's risk pays off
silent film with sound effects
endearing robot

wigged out

2008-07-01T12:07:00.007-05:00

Family members will recognize the gesture I am doing in the above photo. Then they will shudder.

Growing up, our household would have an occasional infestation of (click here at your own risk) earwigs, or as we for some reason called them, "pointer bugs." My mom abhorred them so much, that she wouldn't even like us to mention that we encountered one. Thus the above hand gesture was born to silently communicate to others that we had visitors of the small, shiny, black, pincher wielding variety.

I also can't see one without thinking of (AGAIN click at your own risk)this scene from Star Trek The Wrath of Kahn.

Today, one such little fellow (or gal) interrupted J's block building in the living room. "A BUG! A BUG! GET HIM MOMMY!" Was quickly followed by "DON'T KILL HIM!PUT HIM OUTSIDE!" Several fumbling, yelping attempts (on my part) to get him onto a piece of paper and out the screen door followed. J shouted out after him, "You don't live here, go to your mommy!"

Go to your mommy indeed, little varmint!

haiku review

2008-06-25T17:39:00.003-05:00

The Incredible Hulk

green rage unsuppressed
norton's subtlety works well
don't make him angry

quote of the day from j

2008-06-22T16:13:00.002-05:00

"Is my birfday on Becember twelventh?"

how do i love wordle? let me count the ways

2008-06-14T23:21:00.004-05:00

Wordle is my new favorite pastime.
(some would call it a waste of time...)

I made this from Hamlet's soliloquy:

title="Wordle: hamlet"> src="http://wordle.net/thumb/hamlet"
style="padding:4px;border:1px solid #ddd"
>

This from the preamble to the US Constitution:

title="Wordle: preamble"> src="http://wordle.net/thumb/preamble"
style="padding:4px;border:1px solid #ddd"
>

And this from the song Pig

title="Wordle: pig"> src="http://wordle.net/thumb/pig"
style="padding:4px;border:1px solid #ddd"
>

it is seriously addictive.

haiku reviews

2008-06-09T23:23:00.003-05:00

You Don't Mess With the Zohan

gaza strip slap-stick
truly awesome cameo
a bit too silly

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

hat and whip return
never ending chase sequence
nostalgic, fun ride

Kung Fu Panda

Black rocks the V O
beautiful animation
awesomeness!skadoosh.

base ten numbers and discipline

2008-06-01T16:28:00.005-05:00

I give you a recent conversation between J and my mother (Nana).
Guess who hasn't been on his best behavior lately?

J: Nana, will you come to my birthday party?

Nana: Sure J, how old are you going to be?

J (smirking): Seven.

Nana: Seven?! You're not seven. How old are you now?

J (more smirking) Two.

Nana: Oh, come on J. You are Three. What comes after Three?

J: Time Out

haiku review

2008-05-19T11:44:00.002-05:00

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

aslan there, but not
violence usurps the story
darker than the book

time lapse of an emerging rainstorm

2008-05-17T18:01:00.006-05:00

As I have documented before, E has a love of photography, especially when it involves the sky and rain. A few weeks ago she took this series of pictures just before and during a downpour:

5:22 P.M.

5:24:23

5:24:27

5:35

5:36

She was learning about light and shadow in art appreciation and said she tried to use what she learned while taking these photographs

haiku reviews

2008-05-03T08:54:00.002-05:00

Iron Man

WMDs
dry wit mixed with gadgetry
Downey rocks this role

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

vampire puppets
raunchy, yet sweet and funny
full frontal dude-age

21

slick plot moves swiftly
cards add up to twenty-one
Spacey oozes cool

some clown car!

2008-04-23T12:08:00.009-05:00

The girls knew they were going to see Wicked this past Sunday, but what they didn't know was how they were going to get there.

Adoh very generoulsy gave everyone tickets to see Wicked for Christmas-eight people in all. Uncle Mike had the idea of taking everyone in a limo! He really wanted to surprise the girls with it, so we kept it a secret. The night before, "discussions" led the girls to believe that they would have to take three separate cars and coordinate who was going with whom. K suggested that they all cram into the van like a "clown car."

Well, K was first to see the limo in the driveway, but was totally confused as to why it was there. We told her maybe the neighbors were having a wedding or something. She was grabbing everyone in the house and making them come see the big cool limo out front. Eventually, Mike asked if maybe she might like to use that limo to get downtown. She and E flipped their lids! They were over the moon excited.

Apparently, they were super stoked the whole ride and especially liked riding "backwards" behind the driver.

one less resident on e street

2008-04-18T08:30:00.007-05:00

The first Bruce Springsteen song I learned the words to was "Hungry Heart." I remember sitting with Laura- can't remember the year, reading the lyrics from the record sleeve. Record sleeve?! Good lord I feel old. Might as well say we put the record on the Victrola. But I digress...We read and repeated the lyrics till we had them down, then sang along with the record, belting out the best use of double negative in music history:

"Don't make no difference what nobody says
Ain't' nobody like to be alone."

Right in the middle of the song is a great organ solo that makes you feel like you're in a skating rink waiting for "Ladies Choice." That solo and so many other subtle, yet genius musical moments in the E Street Band catalog was performed by Danny Federici.

Danny died yesterday after a battle with melanoma. I highly recommend clicking on Springsteen's official site , scrolling down a bit, and watching the video clip of Danny just a few weeks ago performing "Sandy" on the accordion. The end, when Bruce kisses him and they all come to the front of the stage, is very moving. I think they knew that he didn't have much longer to play with them.

Laura and I have been very fortunate to see the the band perform many times. We hope to see them many more, but it's going to be a big keyboard to fill.

high brow humor

2008-04-16T23:03:00.003-05:00

The latest joke around the house goes a little something like this:

Straight man: Hey, how are you feeling today?

Laugh getter: Better... Better get a bucket.BLAAAAH!!!!!!

I don't know how this started exactly, but I believe Uncle Mike and K were the first two comedians. Once they had their act down, with K giving a perfect delivery, first saying "Better" in a very serious contemplative way followed by the boisterous "Better get a bucket!" followed by, well, the sounds of mock-zooking. Then E got into the act. So funny.

Then J started running around saying "Better get a bucket!! BLAAAH!!!!" "Better get a bucket!! BLAAAH!!!!" "Better get a bucket!! BLAAAH!!!!" "Better get a bucket!! BLAAAH!!!!"

He has since refined his delivery to actually being the straight man. Sweetly coming up to me and saying, "How you feeling today Mommy?" He doesn't care how I feel, he just wants me and everyone else he asks to give the punch line.

I feel sorry for everyone he is asking who are not in on the joke. He is so disappointed when people respond with, "Oh, just fine, so nice of you to ask."

Because his response is : NOOOO! You have to say "Better get a bucket!! BLAAAH!!!!"

I do love that their delivery and timing are spot on.
And It's a good thing we don't have any state dinners to attend.

easter retrospecitve

2008-03-31T13:13:00.003-05:00

peeps were consumed

eggs were hunted

schmantzy attire was donned

uncles were welcomed home :)

riddle over here

2008-03-04T13:09:00.002-06:00

Since most didn't get a crack at the riddle on the LO-Down before I cracked it... I decided to put one up here.

I can't tell if it's easy or hard, we'll see:

Five hundred begins it, five hundred ends it,
Five in the middle is seen;
First of all figures, the first of all letters,
Take up their stations between.
Join all together, and then you will bring
Before you the name of an eminent king.

lunchtime post regarding astronomy, ballet, and golden statuettes

2008-02-25T10:42:00.009-06:00

If these were at all clear, you would see the very cool lunar eclipse from the other night.

We had a perfect view from our back deck, and luckily so because the girls were able to experience the whole thing while I fumbled clumsily with the telescope to no avail (I'm not good).

K had her big ballet recital on Saturday.

We tamed the wild red mane, and achieved the perfect bun.

She did great and had a stage presence that my friend m described as "regal."
The decoration in the high school auditorium however, may give you the false impression that they were dancing at a Bar Mitzvah.

Oscar night low: Juno only won one award

Oscar night high: Hands down seeing Glen Hansard, Markéta Irglová performing and then winning for "Falling Slowly"

and their humble inspiring acceptance speeches.

Okay, back to work.

haiku review

2008-02-17T16:37:00.004-06:00

Jumper

Jumper

great special effects
hot actors teleporting
plotline way shaky

My personal attempts to jump to Maui have been thus far unsuccessful.

hail to the seven-year-old chief

2008-02-13T19:07:00.003-06:00

In honor of President's Day and the presidential primary season, K's class made a snazzy presidential booklet. There were worksheets about the duties of the commander-in-chief, fact sheets about Linclon and Washington, (What? No Franklin Pierce page?!) and the last page asked them to draw a picture of someone they thought would make a good president, and write a sentence telling why. Here was K's page:

If you can't read the text, it says, "Jacqlyn would make a good president because she is really loyal." I tried to think back to being in first grade and wondered how I would have filled out this sheet. Then again, I don't remember being asked my opinion about anything in first grade (Sr. Consolatta was too busy scrunching my ear and instilling terror into my soul) I certianly don't think I would have drawn one of my female contemporaries though. I think I would have said my dad, who IS very presidential (hi Dad!). In light of our current political race, I thought K's choice was pretty cool.

we bought the farm...wait, no!

2008-02-08T20:14:00.000-06:00

My son and I MADE a farm- a quaint wooden farm, with little wooden livestock, barn, shed, and (my favorite part) a silo. I really enjoy saying silo, but I digress.

J has been kind of obsessed with playing games on the computer lately. He can navigate many a kid friendly website and rawk hard and take names at just about anything on NickJr. Playtime.com. I feel the requisite mommy guilt when my kids get too much "screen time," and J has seen a lot in the last few weeks. I am busier than I've ever been with the programs I am currently producing. I, too, have been a bit overloaded with screen time between writing, editing, and viewing footage.

But, when J asked my assistance with his foray into miniature agriculture, we had the best time. He was so great at putting things together, arranging the various parts, making animal noises, and ordering me around. I basically got to sit back and take in how cute, smart, and funny he is. What a great toy (thanks to Kar's mom -a.k.a. Auntie Denny). No bells, no whistles- literal or metaphorical, just simple blocks.

It was one of those "you've got to stop and smell the roses" type reminders, and luckily, in this case, I didn't have to smell any actual farm odors.

gung hay fat choy

2008-02-07T23:25:00.000-06:00

Happy Chinese New Year!

haiku review

2008-02-05T21:29:00.000-06:00

Michael Clayton

clooney commands screen
lawyer/janitor- fine line
outstanding ending

super fat

2008-02-05T08:19:00.000-06:00

Super Bowl Sunday

Super Tuesday

Fat Tuesday

Fat Super Grover (on Tuesday)

and it all comes full circle

haiku review

2008-01-07T21:43:00.000-06:00

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead

tremendous acting
heavy and uncomfortable
exhausting to watch

check please

2008-01-06T11:04:00.000-06:00

My friend Larry wrote and directed a short film that is in an on line competition through February 14. Here's a preview:

To download the full version visit vuze.com

Feel free to check out the rest, and you can even help him get some votes. It's so well done. It is a dark comedy and there's some colorful language, so don't watch it around kiddies.

For more Larry hilarity, check out his first short film here: "Coffee Break"
I had the opportunity to see it on the big screen at the 2006 Chicago Short Comedy Festival. It was so well received and so much fun to see his success.

Good luck Larry!!!!

haiku review

2008-01-02T22:02:00.000-06:00

Charlie Wilson's War

Sorkin dialog
Hoffman should get Oscar nod
funny and poignant

haiku reviews

2007-12-29T20:52:00.000-06:00

National Treasure Book of Secrets

ciphers, clues, treasure
as always, nick cage is cool
full of holes, but fun

Juno

"cautionary whale"
performances sweet and real
quirky fun soundtrack

two dozen (plus 2)

2007-12-21T23:28:00.000-06:00

To the best of my knowledge, I have seen 24 films that were released in 2007. Wait now I've seen 26. "*" represents the two movies I saw after I wrote this post and before 2008.

I am going to attempt to rank them in the order of how much I liked them, not by any kind of artistic merit, just by my overall enjoyment from "loved" to "disliked" in that order. Here goes...

Once
*Juno
Lars and the Real Girl
The Bourne Ultimatum
Evan Almighty
Knocked Up
Pirates of the Caribbean At World's End
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Meet the Robinsons
The Simpson's Movie
Ratatouille
Enchanted
*National Treasure Book of Secrets
Spiderman 3
Live Free or Die Hard
Super Bad
The Bee Movie
The Game Plan
The Last Mimzy
Shrek 3
Music and Lyrics
Underdog
Blades of Glory
Ghost Rider
Happily Never After
The Shooter

my favorite quote of the day

2007-12-20T14:55:00.001-06:00

"It's capturing children doing what children naturally do
as opposed to grown men playing children's games."

This observation was from my cameraman, who is a really amazing freelance shooter and photographer, in reference to how much he enjoys working on my projects (child development DVDs) as opposed to shooting, Bulls, Bears, and Cubs games.

we wish you a bloggy christmas

2007-12-18T06:24:00.000-06:00

It's always nice to see that someone has posted a comment on my blog. It's like getting an unexpected greeting card in the mail or a friendly phone call out of the blue just to say hi. It's always a geeky "Oh goodie!" (told you it was geeky) moment when the number goes up next to "comments" on one's post.

So when the number went up this morning, I assumed it was my friend Jen, with whom I spoke last night while on a frantic shopping excursion in search of an elusive panda Webkinz...but I digress. While on the phone, she informed me that she had just been reading digressions and noted that her son J and my son J own the same brown striped shirt. I assumed it was a comment about the aforementioned shirt or panda, but it was not.

It was from someone named Teri. She gave a polite "Nice Blog" with a :) and wished me a Merry Christmas. Of course, I clicked over to her blog where I understood nothing in the content of her posts, but wished her a similar sentiment, and then clicked on other commenters on her blog who also wished her a Merry Christmas in return to her randomly commenting on their blogs. Now, there are a lot of advertisements and hyperlinks on Teri's blog, and here's my cynical interpretation...in order to get hits on her blog for which she gets some sort of kickback from the places advertising there, she went blog to blog and left a comment in order to have people click on her link.

Or my less cynical side thinks maybe she was just spreading Christmas cheer.
Who knows. At least it gave me something to digress about.

must be santa

2007-12-12T11:52:00.000-06:00

We made our annual trip to visit the jolly bearded one this past weekend. Yes, we went to the mall...to see Santa...on a weekend. The line was huge and spilled out of the maze-like structure provided for this purpose and around the entire display.

Squint and you can see Adoh, Nana and the kids at the end of the line.

Here they are up close

It took so long that J was actually able to get a haircut while everyone else waited in line.

Considering his propensity for ear piercing psychotic lid-flippage which has been exhibited during prior santa visits and hair cuts, the boy actually rose to the occasion. Not a single protest at the haircut, despite having a mouthful of recently snipped bangs. (Watching him repeatedly wipe his tongue with a tissue was kind of entertaining).

And E used her time to write a note to Santa

When it was our turn, his father lifted him over the fence, he opened his arms, shouted "Santa!", ran to give the big guy a hug, and climbed right up into his lap and took a really cute picture. The girls were incredibly patient as well.

Other weekend highlights were making these great gingerbread houses with Adoh and Nana and having dinner with Grandma and Grandpa and getting their Christmas dresses.

in case you're curious

2007-12-05T18:04:00.000-06:00

I guess all my fancy book learnin' doesn't shine through in the readability department.

dos, deux, ii

2007-12-02T21:18:00.000-06:00

digressions turns two years old today!

-uckle head

2007-11-30T10:21:00.001-06:00

Saw this quote from yesterday's Trib:
“I manage a bunch of knuckleheads on a daily basis,”
Here's the article from which it came.

I've just always liked the word knucklehead. It's fun to say.

I looked up it's origin (because i'm geeky like that) and found this:

"knucklehead," meaning a stupid or slow-witted person, is classic US slang dating back to the period of World War II. Apparently "knucklehead" arose as a variant of "bonehead," meaning that a stupid person has a thick skull impervious to listening or learning. (The word "knuckle," meaning the end of a bone at a joint, itself comes from a Germanic root meaning "little bone.") There's some evidence that "knucklehead" was originally military slang.

While "knucklehead" is of relatively recent vintage, a similar term, "chucklehead," dates back to the 18th century, and has nothing to do with "chuckle" in the sense of quiet laughter. The "chuck" in "chucklehead" is the same as "chock," meaning a large block of wood. So a "chucklehead" behaves like a "blockhead" with a head made of thick wood.

Chucklehead is my new favorite insult.

haiku review

2007-11-29T00:25:00.000-06:00

Enchanted

disney mocks itself
dempsey is, well, mcdreamy
funny family flick

how can it be?

2007-11-28T10:23:00.000-06:00

A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays five days and rides out of town on Friday.

How is this possible?

a chilly day at the park

2007-11-26T13:00:00.000-06:00

haiku review

2007-11-19T10:43:00.000-06:00

Lars and the Real Girl

sad, sweet, and touching
anatomically correct
such superb acting

The Bee Movie

buzz buzz Seinfeld buzz
buzz lots of honey jokes buzz
buzz quite cute buzz buzz

the people that you meet, when you're walking down the street...

2007-11-09T18:24:00.000-06:00

Okay, I wasn't walking down the street, but I was cruising the booths at a trade show when I met quite the celebrity (for the under 5 set or anyone growing up watching Public Television)- Bob from Sesame Street. I always liked him best out of the humans that inhabited that Muppet neighborhood. (Though, Mr. Hooper was cool too R.I.P.) Bob always had this calming quality about him, and it always came across that he really loved educating children through music.

He was so nice (and not just because he flattered me about being too young to possibly have 10 years teaching experience and three children). I like Bob even more now :)

Here was my favorite visual from the day:

Kar and I wanted to just walk around with it like a picket sign.

dmb hh

2007-10-31T21:42:00.001-05:00

Halloween

hh!

2007-10-31T21:08:00.001-05:00

thanks to thin mints...

2007-10-26T13:16:00.000-05:00

Last month, E's Girl Scout troop went to the American Girl Store for lunch. They were "flying up" from Brownies to Junior Scouts and we wanted to do something special with the Girl Scout Cookie money that we saved for the past three years.
Here are some pictures from the day.

Here's E and Josephenia next to the display of her home.

We took this one for K, it's the bedroom of her doll, Kit. (If I were a little girl I would have wanted Kit. She's a ten year old during the Great Depression who's prized possession in a typewriter.)

This craked me up. Each bathroom stall had a "hanger" for a doll.

Even the food was adorable. The other mom that went ordered this mini burger, hot dog, and mac and cheese. They were so dainty, this picture doesn't quite show how adorable the food was.

The dolls got a special seat next to the girls. If someone didn't have a doll they could chose one of several to be a guest for the meal.

I had a very tasty quiche and most of the girls had the Tic Tac Toe Pizza. The dining room was very elegant and the girls were treated like special guests, the tables had these little boxes filled with conversation starters like "Where do you envision yourself in ten years?" and "How would you feel if someone tells you that you can't do something because you are a girl?"

Check out the dessert.

It was so nice to see a bunch of nine-year-old girls playing with dolls that looked like normal girls. They got a glimpse of what girls their age from different ethnic backgrounds and eras in American history were like.

You can't walk down the "girl" asile in any toy store these days with out getting hit on by whorish Bratz and trampy My Scene Barbie dolls. There's even some line of little plastic animals that wear eyeshadow look like they're about to head out clubbing.

I really like AG dolls, not only because they don't look like starlets on their way to rehab, but because of their focus on American history. The books that go along with the dolls are very well written and do an excellent job of teaching history within the context of the stories. Sure the dolls are expensive and yes the AG store is all about consumerism, but when faced with the alternative,

I'll take AG any day.

riddle me this

2007-10-23T21:03:00.000-05:00

E gave me a riddle from her friend M.E.
Since I got today's riddle on the LO-Down, I thought I'd ask it here.

There are three brothers in a continuous marathon.
The first is quite short and very slow.
the next is taller and runs faster than the first.
the last is very tall and goes very quickly.

Who are they?

ward, something is wrong with the beaver

2007-10-19T10:02:00.000-05:00

While researching 1950's dialog for a project at work, I came across this, and it cracked me up.

"great" "blog"

2007-10-11T07:40:00.000-05:00

I read an article in the Trib about this blog.

I "love" it!

proofreading dinner

2007-10-06T16:37:00.000-05:00

Every once in a while, something happens that makes the teacher in me want to take out the trusty old red pen. This evening, while waiting for the oven to preheat, I experienced that sort of moment.

From DiGIORNO's website: For over 10 years, DIGIORNO Pizza has created advertising that is as memorable as the pizzas we produce.

Apparently, without the aid of a copyeditor.
Here is the back of the box:

Do they have something against commas? And the extra large capital letter for each word bugs me too.

On an amusing note, they may not be catering to the most cerebral customer base, as #1 on the list of directions is, "Do not eat pizza without cooking."

Having said my piece, I am now going to enjoy my rising crust pizza (punctuation deficient as it may be).

good grief

2007-09-29T00:42:00.000-05:00

What is that weird, sickening, disconcerting feeling I'm feeling?

Oh yeah, I almost forgot.

literal pulp fiction

2007-09-18T15:14:00.001-05:00

It’s never any fun when you discover that a child has wet the bed at 2 a.m. There’s the whole “Play it off like it’s no biggie so you don’t upset the kid, wash them up, bundle up the wet stuff, remake the bed, take the bundle down to the laundry room, and start a load” routine.

Well, it’s even less fun when this happens:

My vision was blurred and my head was fuzzy from lack of sleep when I opened the washing machine door at 3 a.m. to find globs of an unknown substance clinging to the blankets as well as the interior of the (brand new!) machine. It was a pulpy mess that, upon further investigation into the larger globs, revealed remnants of the wide eyes of that “explorador femenino” and her cohort Boots the monkey.

Flashback to six hours earlier - I finish reading a quaint story to my child about a picnic at the park that was almost foiled by a kleptomaniac fox. I place the book on the bed next to us as we talk about our favorite parts of the day. I exit the room.

Yep, I had tossed the dank, smelly pile of bedclothes into the washing machine, and inadvertently rolled up a “Step Into Reading” Dora The Explorer soft covered book inside of the bundle. I should really practice what I preach in the whole, “Put things back where they belong” Dpt.

I can tell you what WASN’T my favorite part of today. Que Lastima!

Textual Note: (That only Nick Jr. viewers will get)

I was going to refer to Dora a “super cool exploradora” because I thought those were the lyrics to the theme song. “She’s a super cool exploradora” I’ve sung it a hundred times. Then I thought, “Is ‘exploradora’ really the Spanish word for female explorer?”

It turns out they’re really saying “Boots is super cool, Explore with Dora”

Huh. I love those “Excuse me while I kiss this guy” moments.

looking up

2007-09-06T01:19:00.000-05:00

E's eyes were really on the skies today. First thing this morning she had to grab the camera to photograph this sunrise:

Mid afternoon the heavens opened up with a really cool thunderstorm while it was still sunny. E took A LOT of pictures, and it was hard to capture the rain, but these are my favorites:

snow day!

2007-08-24T19:42:00.001-05:00

Er, should I say "power outage day?" School was cancelled Friday due to a big 'ol tree that fell on some power lines, a transformer (wait is that the right word? Like Optimus Prime?) or some such.

At any rate, Thursday night around 10:30, the house phone rang, at the same time as my cell, while I received an email alert from Yahoo!- all telling me there's no school. Wow. At least I know I'll be informed about these things. I was waiting for a knock on the door from our principal, all out of breath because he had been running house to house to inform people.

Third day in, and they get a day off.

That afternoon The weather WAS really bad. We were chased by this awful storm. Seriously, the sky was bright and beautiful ahead of us, and the rearview mirror reflected he blackest, spookiest sky I've ever seen. By the time we got to my mom's, the tornado warning sirens were blaring and it was dark, dark, dark and reeeealy windy.

E started screaming and crying. It took quite a while to talk her down. Even though, according to Tom Skilling the really dangerous stuff was south of us, E kept crying, "Make it stop! Somebody make it stop!"

Her little brother came to the rescue. J marched up to the window and yelled, "Stop it thunder!!!!! E doesn't like you!!!"

school's in

2007-08-23T07:18:00.000-05:00

Day one went quite swimmingly. E and K really enjoyed the first day of fourth and first grade. And even though J looks so old in this picture, he still needs to wait a few years.

No homework on the first day other than to do their 20 min. of reading. K was very disappointed. She desperately wants homework. E said, "You think so now, but just wait!" E's book bag was so heavy though due to the three textbooks she needed to bring home to cover. I was never good at covering books (Laura always did it for me). But now they have snazzy stretchy cloth book covers- perfect for the lazy and book covering impaired like myself.

color them occupied

2007-08-22T17:04:00.000-05:00

The kids spent the day painting with water colors.

They cranked out masterpiece after masterpiece. Even J got into it with surprising neatness and skill.

no more monkeys

2007-08-20T00:28:00.000-05:00

I know that jumping on the bed is dangerous, but

how much fun are they having???

The photo was taken by E. She's become quite the photographer. The sunset pic from the other day was hers, and she really seems to have quite the knack for capturing moments.

once

2007-08-15T22:35:00.000-05:00

I know I haiku-ed about Once. But while waiting (not so) patiently for the soundtrack to be delivered by Amazon, I couldn't seem to get this one song from the movie out of my mind.

I found this live version of it from an LA press conference.

Please to enjoy...

saturday's sunset

2007-08-14T19:55:00.000-05:00

haiku review cubed

2007-08-13T20:36:00.000-05:00

heavy irish brogues
brilliant songs, sweet love story
i bought the soundtrack

funny, over all
whole alaska part was slow
bart was naked! doh!

sweater clad beagle
clever nods to the cartoon
great fun for the kids

i can stop whenever i want

2007-08-06T21:39:00.000-05:00

I suppose if you even take a quiz called "How Addicted to Blogging are You?" that you you found on one of the blogs that you read daily, then it shouldn't come as a surprise that...

62%

San Jose Singles from Mingle²

haiku review

2007-08-03T22:05:00.001-05:00

we learn why he kills
series could be one long flick
kickass bourne fight scenes

regurgitation proclamation

2007-08-02T21:02:00.000-05:00

Poor K got very sick on her trip to Springfield with my parents and Laura. She lost her cookies all over the state capital including the Lincoln museum and the Capital Building. My brother pointed out that at least her puke was bipartisan- she zooked on Republicans AND Democrats.

The worst part is the fact that this little bug has since claimed my mom, E, and J. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I'm pretty sure it's hovering directly over my head,

my webphotojournalism career is over

2007-08-01T20:03:00.000-05:00

Yesterday marked my last caption for webshots news channel.
(Just in case my throng of readers were curious) So feel free to stop clicking there.
That's no longer my flowery prose.

When they downsized from paragraph posts to two line captions for the same pay, I think they realized that captioning didn't need a team of writers.

It was an interesting side gig for the year.

woo hoo- 21 again

2007-07-30T22:53:00.001-05:00

I used a "real age" calculator to determine my "real age" and life expectancy.

Turns out my age is 21 and I should live to be 88.

Calculate your impending - - or not so impending demise here.