news stories of the day

"Scariest Story of the Day"

"Least Newsworthy Story of the Day"

"Oh-poor-you-you-have-to-wear-khaki-shirts-and-pants-gimme-a-break
Story of the Day"

"Laura Would About Care This, But I Don't Story of the Day"

"A Loaf of Bread, a Container of Milk, and a...HOLY COW Story of the day"